Thursday, May 6, 2010

Fempinions: Selestine's Male Fail

Dark Greetings to all my wonderful readers. I’m terribly sorry for having been MiA for so long. There was a death in the family and I simply could not write anything until now. So for your reading enjoyment, I bring you a deluxe edition of Male Fail (with some Female Fails included.)

This issue will highlight how unsexy verbal abuse is, among other things, of course.

Take the not-so-happy couple checking out the FA paint yesterday. The wife seemed really excited about getting to check out the colors. Now, normally I don't pay attention to what customers say to each other when I'm not actually assisting them, but they were in during a lull and really, there wasn't anything else to hear. So while I'm flipping through color charts, I hear that she wants to paint their kitchen blue. Apparently, that was a bad thing.

Husband: That’s so stupid! People do NOT paint their kitchens blue. Come on!
Wife: Of course they do! Its versatile and-
Husband: Look, you need to yield on this. I MUST have input otherwise this is all on you!

Due to his voice rising on the last bit, I looked up from my color browsing. The wife got quiet after that and didn't speak up unless the husband picked out a color.

Husband: Okay lets go, wifey. We have enough for today.
Wife: I think maybe we should look at the MS colors next.
Husband: Oh for Christ’s sake! How stupid! You're being foolish.

I couldn't even bring myself to approach them because I knew I would end up saying something to the husband that would set him off, but I did alert a fellow associate as to what I had seen and they kept an eye on them throughout the store. Nothing happened, but the associate noted that while they were cashing out, the husband kept saying "You're being good now" to his wife.

All I could think of when reflecting on that couple was the following: Were I married, or otherwise in a relationship, and my guy spoke to ME that way, he could expect an ear full right then and there (and no place to sleep once we arrived home). I don't care which side of the relationship someone is in. That shit isn't called for. But said shit seemed to be the theme of the day, because 15 minutes after they left, I get "Barbie" walking by the paint desk with her husband and young child (looked about 5 or so.)

B's Husband: Honey, would you like me to look into the deck stains while we're here?
Barbie: NO! I want you to fucking finish the damn projects you already started!!!!!

I shake my head and just cringe and start praying that they don't come to the paint desk at any point. Well, I only get half lucky there as Barbie, after passing the desk, looks around all lost-like, throws her arms in the air in a defeated/dismissive gesture, and faces me.

Barbie: Where are the blinds?!
Me: If you mean decor, that’s in the back half of the store to the left over by the hardwood flooring just before you reach the lighting department.
Barbie: Well where the hell is THAT supposed to be?!?!?!?!
Me: *blinks, and speaks a bit slower* Down THIS aisle, take a left, then take a right when you see hardwood floors.

She stormed off in a huff. My thoughts at the time: "You're welcome, bitch." and "I can't believe he married THAT."

Its sad, but the guys of my age group actually want women like that. By “that” I mean good-looking by society standards (and yes, we all know how flawed that concept is.) Doesn’t matter that she’s a bitch. If she looks like a supermodel, the guys will want her over anyone else. Quite sad.

Moving on...

Oh yes, one of my pet peeves has become rampant. It goes a little something like this: If you approach me and tell me you want to do a certain project the right way, and proceed to ask me how its done, do not proceed to take up my time if you intend to fight me the entire time by trying to get me to say things that would be corner-cutting... aka... not doing a project the right way.

A very nice lady came to the paint desk and told me she needed to re-stain her deck. She also said that she wanted to do it the right way. So I lead her down the exterior stain aisle as she tells me what condition her deck is in right now, etc etc.

Lady: Well I used TWS on it last year and its horrible! I want to stain the deck and never use that stuff again. I just want to use the Premium products.
Me: I understand completely. What you have to do first is use a stripper solution. That will remove the TWS and any other chemical buildup on the wood. Next you will want to apply the deck prep solution. Once that’s done, you must wait for the wood to dry completely before using the stain.
Lady: Wait, stripper solution? Deck prep? What’s all that?
Me: *goes into an informative and easy to understand lesson on using stripper solution and deck prep to get the job done right the first time*
Lady: You are so talking me out of doing this right now. All I want to do is cover up whats already there.
Me: I know, and I'm telling you how to do that. Its a process, like anything else, so it will take some time, but the end result will be fantastic.
Lady: But I'm selling the house. Can't I just put the stain over what’s there now?
Me: No, you can't. The stain has nothing to adhere to because the TWS is there and that prevents adhesion. You need to remove that in order for the stain to work, otherwise you're going to have nothing but a slip and fall hazard on the deck because it will never dry.
Lady: *goes on and on about not wanting to spend a lot of money and blah blah*
Me: Well ma'am, I've given you instructions on how to do the job right, which is what you asked me for.
Lady: *gets a gallon of semi-transparent stain off the shelf* I'll just put this over the TWS.
Me: *withholding a sigh* Fine, but do a test area first. Don't just dump the whole gallon over the deck.

Meanwhile, a line about 7 people long had formed at the desk and I was by myself. Yippee.

Next is a guy who was very nice, but like the lady, was shocked to hear that staining his deck was going to include more than just picking out a stain color and applying it.

Me: Yes sir, how can I help you today?
Guy: Well I want to stain my deck with a solid stain. I have a prior stain on there right now, and also some new, unstained wood I'd like to do from a deck extension that’s about to be completed.
Me: Sure thing.
Guy: I want to do this the right way, so, how do I do that? Just get the stain and apply it, right?
Me: Well no. First you need to apply a stripping solution to the part of the deck that was stained before. Then you'll want to take the deck prep solution over both the stained and unstained parts of the deck. That will neutralize the wood and get it ready for the stain. Once the wood is dry from that, you can then apply the stain.
Guy: Holy shit...! I didn't think it was that involved...
Me: Yeah, it can be.
Guy: Why can't I just stain over it?
Me: *launches into an informative and easy to understand explanation as to why one simply cannot just apply stain over previously stained surfaces and unprepped surfaces*
Guy: *sighs* Okay, get me what I need for this.

So I take him down the aisles and explain what he needs as we go along, frequently referring to the instructions on the back of the solutions. On a personal observation note here, I've found that when I have to read instructions off of the label to someone more than three times, they are not going to bother reading it when they get home and return to the store to whine and complain.
Anyway, I get him the brush and nap he'll need, plus the two solutions.

Guy: I still don't understand why I can't just stain over it. This color right here... *points to a dark brown on the color chart* ...looks like what I have on there now.
Me: *refrains from a much-needed eye roll* Sir, I've explained to you why you should not simply stain over it. I will add that if you just put the stain over the existing stain, you negate the guarantee and manufacturers warranty on the stain. And just so we're on the same page, is the stain you have on there now a Premium product?
Guy: Well I don't know. My wife bought it. I have no idea what she bought.
Me: All the more reason to follow my instructions.

So he picks out a color (which was a far cry from the dark brown he had originally pointed to) and I mix the stain for him while he goes to get other stuff.

Last but not least for today, we have Grumpy Guy. He was in the interior aisle looking for ceiling paint.

Me: Finding everything alright, sir?
GG: Where's your ceiling paint in quart size?
Me: We don't carry ceiling paint in quart size, sorry.
GG: Well why the hell not?
Me: The rep is aware that there is a call for it, unfortunately, the company simply does not offer that particular paint in that size at this time. I have a gallon I can give you for free though, if you want.
GG: And just what in the hell am I supposed to do with all that?! Drink it?!
Me: *walks away, thinking: Please do.*

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Now showing in the FemPower Theater...The FemPower Promo Clip

Our own Jana Cleveland has given us a beautiful promo clip; one that truly defines our mission at FemPower, and includes some hot guys besides (bonus!) Please enjoy. (And a very special thanks to our kind and very hot friend Smith Curren, http://www.smithcurren.com, for our beautiful logo!)

Saturday, April 17, 2010

FemIssue: Help Women in Haiti

I just received this from Amnesty International. I thought our readers should know:

A bill pending in Congress would help protect women and girls at risk during crises.
Help countries like Haiti combat violence against women and girls.





Dear Megan,

Michelle Obama's trip to Haiti this week was a powerful reminder to us all how much further there is to go before Haitians fully recover from the catastrophic January 12th earthquake.

According to the most recent estimates from the UN Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (OCHA), roughly 460 makeshift camps are still the homes to more than 1 million displaced people in Port-au-Prince alone1.

Conditions are horrid all around, but for women and girls in particular, the situation in Haiti has become a perfect storm for increased violence and exploitation. Before the earthquake, Kay Fanm, a Haitian women's rights organization, estimated that 72% of Haitian girls surveyed had been raped and at least 40% of women were victims of domestic violence2. Amnesty International findings show that in the aftermath of the disaster, Haitian women and girls are particularly vulnerable to sexual violence.

Help countries like Haiti prevent and respond to violence against women and girls.

The International Violence Against Women Act (IVAWA) was specifically created to combat violence including in humanitarian situations such as Haiti. If passed, IVAWA would provide valuable services like rape counseling, medical assistance and even economic opportunities to women and girls in countries around the world devastated by humanitarian crisis.

Many Senators and Representatives have already pledged their full support for IVAWA. But if we're going to help countries like Haiti combat violence against women and girls once and for all, then we've got to get more members of Congress standing up for women's human rights and supporting IVAWA.

Have your elected officials signed on to support IVAWA yet?

Last month, when our researchers traveled to Haiti on a mission to investigate human rights violations, what they found was appalling. Women were being forced to bathe and go to the bathroom in public Security was sparse – officers were rarely seen patrolling the camps to maintain security. The flimsy shelters hardly offered any sense of added protection or privacy.

Gender-based violence has been a problem in Haiti for many years, but the earthquake has exacerbated the problem. In fact, we spoke to one women's organization that reported 19 cases of rape in only a small section of the large camp site located in the Champ-de-Mars3. Far too many are exploiting this humanitarian crisis and endangering the lives of Haiti's women and girls in the process.

But by urging more members of Congress to support IVAWA, we can fight back against this dangerous reality and empower women worldwide, especially those living in times of crisis.

Thank you for your support,

Daphne Jayasinghe
Advocacy Director, Women's Human Rights
Amnesty International USA

Friday, April 16, 2010

Happy Friday Ladies...



Image courtesy of BlingCheese.Com

Thursday, April 15, 2010

FemFeature: And the Winners Are...


We at FemPower congratulate the winners of the 2010 Feminist Porn Awards!


For Immediate Release



www.goodforher.com

175 Harbord Street

Toronto ON M5S1H3

416-588-0900

http://www.goodforher.com/fpa_2010



Good For Her is proud to announce the winners of the

2010 Feminist Porn Awards!



Toronto, ON, April 10, 2010: On Friday April 9th, feminist pornographers from around the world came together at The Berkeley Church Heritage Event Venue for a steamy and x-rated celebration of feminist porn. Twelve awards and four Honourable Mentions were handed out in categories ranging from Most Deliciously Diverse Cast to Hottest Kink Movie at this annual event, now in its fifth year.



"Good For Her began organizing the Feminist Porn Awards to celebrate the growing diversity of porn that really does exist," said Alison Lee, manager of Good for Her and the event's director. "Porn has expanded to include women and marginalized communities, and many people don’t know about the hot and artistic movies that are being made with a feminist sensibility. We are proud to promote these filmmakers, and excited about directing people to their work”.



The 2010 Feminist Porn Awards were hosted by Morgan Brayton, actor and comic from Vancouver BC, and a record-breaking 450 guests gathered at the Berkeley Church to toast those creating porn that offers a new and exciting vision of porn that includes the political.



Starting in 2008, the Good For Her Feminist Porn Awards added a second night to their celebration: this year titled Public Provocative Porn: The Year’s Best in Feminist Film, giving audiences a chance to see more of these incredible films as well as a chance to engage with filmmakers in a panel discussion and Question and Answer period. Held this year at the Bloor Cinema in Toronto, over 350 people gathered to watch selections from five Feminist Porn Award nominated movies including Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men by Tristan Taormino, The Deviant by Nica Noelle, Crash Pad Series Vol 5 by Shine Louise Houston, and a series of clips starring performer April Flores from Bordello (directed by Courtney Trouble) Behind the Red Door (directed by Carlos Batts) and Dangerous Curves (directed by Carlos Batts).



The 2010 Good For Her Feminist Porn Award winners are:



Hottest Website

Rubysdiary.com – Ruby Day



Best Direction

Des Jours Plus Belles Que La Nuit

Jennifer Lyon Bell and Murielle Scherre; Blue Artichoke Films + La Fille' D'O



Hottest Dyke Movie/Hottest Kink Movie

River Rock Women’s Prison | Kathryn Annelle; Triangle Films





Smutty Schoolteacher Award for Sex Education

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men | Tristan Taormino; Vivid Ed



Hottest Bi Movie

Fluid: Men Redefining Sexuality | Madison Young; Reel Queer Productions



Most Deliciously Diverse Cast

Dangerous Curves | Carlos Batts; HeartCore Films



Sexiest Short

Handcuffs | Erika Lust; Lust Films



Most Tantalizing Trans Film

Speakeasy | Courtney Trouble; Reel Queer Productions



Hottest Feature

The Band | Anna Brownfield; Hungry Films



Sexiest Straight Movie

The Deviant | Nica Noelle; Sweet Sinner Video



Emerging Filmmaker Award

Tobi Hill-Meyer



Heartthrob of the Year

April Flores



The Boundary Breaker

Jiz Lee



The Visionary

Shine Louise Houston



The Trailblazer

Tristan Taormino



Honourable Mentions:

Women Love Porn | Produced by Anna Span; Easy on the Eye Productions

Dirty Diaries: 12 Shorts of Feminist Porn; Njuta Films

Sensual Massage For Pregnacy | Jaiya; New World Sex Education

Cocksucker | Julie Simone; Julie Simone Productions



Good For Her are proud to have now celebrated five years as producers of the Good For Her Feminist Porn Awards, the largest and longest running celebration of feminist porn in the world. Since 1997, Good For Her has been creating a nurturing environment where everyone can feel comfortable learning about sex and pleasure. Good For Her takes pride in providing quality sex toys, erotic and educational books as well as DVDs and workshops that empower and celebrate the diversity of everyone’s sexuality.



The Good For Her Feminist Porn Awards & Public Provocative Porn took place

Friday April 9th at the Berekely Church Heritage Events Venue – 315 Queen St East/ $15 advance $20 door. Public Provocative Porn took place at the Bloor Cinema at 506 Bloor Street West, $12. Images from 2009 can be found at http://www.flickr.com/photos/feministpornawards , with 2010 pictures coming soon.


Our warmest thanks to Alison Lee from Good for Her for this info, and to Lana Paiement for the photo. And many congrats to all the winners!

Monday, April 12, 2010

FemIssue: Toward a healing place

Today at Feministing.Com, I read a heartbreaking post from a woman who was living a very painful memory; the anniversary of a rape she suffered at her stepfather's hands.

As I read her post, I felt her pain so acutely; I also felt rage on her behalf, and a strong desire to do something.

What can I, an erotica author, do about the problem of rape and domestic violence? I've written briefly about the effects of these crimes in some of my books, including Mauve Christmas, Song of the Vamp and Behold the Beauty. I also did a charity booksigning once on behalf on Sunrise Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Center, an excellent organization that does great work in my area.

I try to do all I can, but it never seems like enough. Not when I'm constantly reading stories like the one I read today.

Beyond being an outlet for women's erotic entertainment, I want FemPower to be an agent of change and healing, hence the name. Regularly I'll be posting resources and fund-raising opportunities and resources, and I encourage our readers to do the same.

FemPower is not only a fun place, but a sharing place, a place of healing. Let's make it a good one!

Love,

Megan

Monday, April 5, 2010

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Sunday, April 4, 2010

Tell me what you want

Ladies, I'd just love to write a special erotic story for our readers at FemPower, and as usual my head is just brimming with naughty ideas. Ah, but which one should I write about? I'm opening this up to an audience vote, so leave your comments below:

A male steward services a female passenger on an airplane.

A male submissive seduces a potential female mistress. (No hard bondage; just not into that)

A male model seduces a female photographer

Just let me know...

Hugs,

Meg

Happy Easter

From everyone at FemPower, we want to wish everyone a very happy Easter and a blessed spring holiday!

Best,

Megan Hussey

Friday, April 2, 2010

FemIssue: Reproductive Rights

Women’s Issues: Reproductive Rights

Dark greetings to all of my wonderful readers! No Male Fail this week, I’m afraid. This time, I will be highlighting a personal issue that faces each of us. For me, this very issue has been a constant struggle for the last fifteen years. Some of you may smirk in disbelief at what I have to say, and, that’s your right. Just try to keep an open mind, is all I ask.

I have known I didn’t want to have kids ever since I was thirteen years old. I know, that’s a very young age to make such a decision, but, I knew it to be true. When I first started seeing an OB/GYN a few years later, I asked about getting a hysterectomy. The doctor was very nice and informed me that I was too young (then sixteen) to be considered for such a thing. I accepted that and continued to ask every year that I went back, with the same answer being given each time.

I hit the age of twenty one, and at that time, I was sure they would at least consider me. By then, I had a new doctor (the one I had before retired), so I thought maybe this time I would get a positive answer. This answer was, however, no better. She informed me that getting the operation before age thirty is highly unlikely barring a medical issue. Now, I find that very cruel of the medical community to have such a standard. I have said I would sign any and all waivers on the matter, and even file a notice with an attorney to give them the peace of mind that I won’t change my mind years later and try to sue them. I was crushed, but, continued on.

Fast-forward now to just after my twenty seventh birthday. I no longer live in the same state as before, and my new doctor seems open-minded. I ask her about the operation, and she tells me that unless I’ve had a child and/or are married and preferably over the age of thirty two, I won’t be considered for the surgery (again, barring a medical problem.) I was stunned. Completely, and absolutely stunned.

Lets look at the big picture for a moment. Our wonderful planet Earth is overpopulated. She can’t support our great numbers anymore. Some may say that its all part of Creator’s plan and whatnot, and I can’t and won’t argue with that. But at the same time, the more people that arrive, the more strain it puts on the planet herself. I would think that a woman who has not changed her mind in fifteen years should be able to make a choice like having a hysterectomy without so much red tape. (To put this in perspective even more, consider this: I was able to have major plastic surgery at age eighteen without anything more than the opinions of two plastic surgeons.)

So what gives? Why is it that a teenager can have extensive plastic surgery but a young woman can’t have a surgery just as extensive that would end needless monthly misery and a dependency on pills? I understand that after such surgery, one is required to have hormone replacements, and that’s all well and fine. Such things have come a long way over the past several years and I’m fine with having to do such.

So I ask again: What gives? Why can’t a grown woman, who is informed and more than sure about her decision on this get this resolved? If you plan on answering with something along the lines of “Oh you might change your mind someday when you meet someone special and then you might want to have kids with them” just stuff it. I’ve heard that so much over my life that I’m actually sickened by such answers. So if you plan on answering with something like that, save yourself a thrashing in the comments section and just don’t reply.

Have a happy and safe bunny weekend everyone!

-Selestine

Editor's Note: As someone who is single and childless by choice, I heartily applaud Selestine's words. It's about time someone said this, and leave it to my sister friend Selestine to say it right! Hugs and happy Easter, Megan

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

FemPost News: Love Scenes on DVD


It was way back in college when I first discovered the Love Scenes videos; sensual softcore productions that brought women's fantasies beautifully to life. After seeing an ad in Playgirl for the first Love Scenes video, I bought that puppy up pronto; primarily because the advert promised to show me Danny Celaya, one of my all-time favorite Playgirl models, "Like I'd never seen him before."

Oh yeah,and how! Indeed, the four Love Scenes films--directed by Ron Lawson, an absolute sweetheart I had the pleasure of speaking to once--showcased any number of Playgirl models, Chippendales and other delicious dudes in an array of yummy fantasies; everything from a scene that features a Vegas dancer auditioning for a lucky female casting director (and he really, REALLY wants the part:) to an extended sequence that involves a woman being treated to a most unique birthday party--one featuring hunkified (is that a word?) birthday gifts that unwrap themselves!

I was recently pleased to discover that all four Love Scenes films have finally been released in DVD format, though for some unearthly reason they can't be shipped to my home state of Florida (Waaaaaah! The humanity!:). Oh well, the rest of you ladies can check them out at www.lovescenes.net. Enjoy, and Danny Celaya forever!:)

Hugs,

Meg

Fempinions Male Fail

Because sometimes, having a dick can make you become one

Brought to you by the Queen of Sarcasm, Selestine



Welcome back my lovely readers! Its time for another round of Male Fail, and like last week, this week the edition features encounters from my workplace. However, this week, I am also including a Female Fail as well. So grab your favorite bottle of vodka, make sure its at least half full, and enjoy this latest edition!

Scene: At Work

It was a very busy day at work, and my customers for the most part were very polite and even friendly. However, about my fifth customer into the day, I encountered Rude Ass 1 (aka RA1). I was standing at one of the mixing stations with five gallons of paint in front of me, all in a row waiting to have tint added. Can number one was just being positioned under the tint dispenser when I hear a *thunk* above me. I initiate the dispenser and look to see what was up.
A guy had was standing there with a gallon of Brand D paint in flat in the UPW base. Now, customers are supposed to come to the front of the counter to place an order, but for whatever reason, this guy just didn’t do so.

Me: Uhm… may I help you?
RA1: Yeah, I need a gallon of Autumn Leaves in a gallon of this right here.
Me: Okay. Are you sure that that color requires a UPW base?
RA1: Yes!
Me: Alright, I’ll get to it in about five minutes. I’m a bit backed up right now.
RA1: Fine.

Once again, we absolutely prefer that customers do not bring us the can. While it’s a nice gesture, nine times out of ten, we’re brought the wrong can, which means we have to haul it back to the shelf. Anyway, I finished up with the five gallons that were in front of me and proceed to work on RA1’s order. Sure enough, the base required for his paint was not UPW. It was M base (aka medium base). So I haul that can away and bring back the correct one. I mix his order and get it shaken.
When I removed the can from the shaker, he suddenly became upset.

RA1: That’s not the can I brought you!
Me: That’s correct sir. Its not. You brought me a can of Brand D paint in flat in the UPW base. However, for the color you wanted, the correct base is M. So I had to swap out the cans.
RA1: But I told you that was the right can.
Me: You did, however unfortunately, you were mistaken.

I proceed to open the can and show it to him. He waves it off, so I seal it back up and wish him a good day, smile and all.

Scene: At Work

And now its two hours after RA1’s exit. Its time for Rude Ass 2 (aka RA2). This guy has what I call the “I’m old and therefore people have to kiss my ass” attitude. Personally, I don’t care how old someone is, because if you’re a prick, then you’re a prick, age be damned. I’m all about respecting elders, but I will not bow down to a rotten attitude.
I’m standing at the computer that’s at the front counter, adding seven different orders to the system. The customers who placed those orders were instructed to return in about ten to fifteen minutes. While entering the orders, an elderly guy comes up to the counter.

Me: Hi sir. Are you all set?
RA2: Well, I will be once you get me some paint!

I pause in the middle of my work, smile a bit, and then continue.

Me: Alright. I have seven orders ahead of you, but I’ll go ahead and take your order and add it to the queue.

He hands me an order tag and I enter it and hand it back to him. Of course, I did his order, all of one quart, dead last. As its in the shaker, he comes up to the counter again and tries to make small talk.

RA2: That’s a nice yellow I’m reordering.
Me: Erm… I didn’t mix a yellow for you, sir. You asked for Ivory.
RA2: No I didn’t! It was yellow!

He goes digging in his wallet and retrieves the order tag. My guess is that he didn’t even bother to look at the tag before handing it to me because I don’t even think he knew what he handed me in the first place. The paint finishes up and I show it to him.

RA2: That’s good, I guess.

Have a nice day, jackass!

Scene: At Work

And now I present to you a Female Fail! Yes, I had an encounter worthy of mention here, and its not horrid, but, its good for an eye roll at the very least.

Female Shopper (FS for short) comes strolling to the paint counter with her grandson in tow. She hands me a paint swatch from a company that I’m guessing has long since gone out of business and wants a gallon of it.

FS: Oh I haven’t purchased paint in over twenty years! I’m not sure what to get.

She didn’t look a day over sixty, for the record. Anyway, I get some more information about her project and I get her to settle on a finish/sheen. She went with Brand D, so I enter it into the system, print out a tag for her and a tag for me, and I get the gallon down. As I put the label on the can and get ready to open it to add the tint, she suddenly stops me.

FS: Have you mixed it yet?
Me: No ma’am, I haven’t. I’m about to.
FS: Oh hold on a moment!

She proceeds to begin looking at color swatches. Eh… hello? I’m not going to have other customers wait around while you meander around the color stations. At one point, she stops at the colors for the Brand R paint and pulls a color from there.

FS: So, can I have this color in Brand D paint?
Me: Yes, you can. I can color match it.
FS: Have you mixed that other one?
Me: No, you told me to wait.
FS: Okay good! I don’t want that. I want a quart of it, and I want a quart of this color I just picked out. What the heck, right? Nothing ventured nothing gained!
Me: Alright.

I begin the task of scraping off the tag (which is not easy for someone like me who has soft nails) and as I turn to the computer to change the order, she starts talking again.

FS: Oh this is such a lovely color.
(She was talking about the Brand R color she had just picked out).
Me: Yes it is. Now, I need that swatch so I can color match it.
FS: Oh no, you don’t!
Me: Uh… yes I-
FS: Nevermind. I’m going with my original order.

I grit my teeth, manage a sigh through it, and re-print a new tag and mix her paint.

That’s all for now folks. Be well and stay sane!

- Selestine

Friday, March 26, 2010

A Hunky Angel Just for You

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FemProfile: Petra Joy

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Monday, March 22, 2010

Fempinions: Male Fail

FemPower is proud to welcome Selestine, a bright, witty columnist who has her own hilarious take on the chauvinist jerks that most of us encounter in our everyday lives. She's not talking about all men, just the ones who have the unique talent for really ticking us off.:) Enjoy the first installment of Male Fail, a regular FemPower column that uncovers the worst of the worst, and in a funny, downright therapeutic way...

Male Fail

Because sometimes, having a dick can make you become one

Brought to you by the Queen of Sarcasm, Selestine


Greetings all my lovely readers! I am Selestine and my super power is sarcasm. More on that and myself later, but right now, its time to observe the Male Fail(s) of the day.
This column will highlight one or two fails that I encounter in my day to day life, be it at home, work, vacation, etc. These posts are not work safe/work friendly and are also dripping with sarcasm and the occasional swearing.

Scene: At Work

The first male to enter the scene was actually one on the phone, and probably one of the laziest people I've ever had the misfortune of encountering. He was asking about caulking (something which I know very little about), so I was relying on what the tubes said, as well as the huge sign our vendors put up for use to refer to. I would say “enjoy” however, I believe “cringe” would be more appropriate for this little exchange:

Me: Okay sir, what type of caulking were you looking for?
Customer: Uh... uh.... well here, hang on, let me get my wife to get the tube for me. I bought this stuff last time and I want to get it again.
Me: Alright.

The specimen proceeds to hold the phone away from his face and SCREAM at the top of his lungs.

Male Customer #1: HEY! GET ME MY CAULKING TUBE! ITS ON THE COUNTER! I'M ON THE PHONE WITH THEM NOW! JUST HURRY UP! MOVE IT I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!

So this begs two questions, the first of which is why didn't he bother to get it before calling? The other is who in their right mind would allow their husband/wife/significant other to talk to them like that? I'm sorry, but if someone is screaming at me, they better be dying or otherwise in need of immediate medical assistance, or I am quite likely to put them in one of the above situations.
Long story short, after about four minutes of screaming to his wife-slave, he had what he needed and I was able to give him the peace of mind that we did indeed have the same caulk in the store.

Ladies, don’t ever take that kind of shit, or any shit, from anyone for any reason.

Scene: At Work

A guy comes up to the paint counter and mumbles out his order: A gallon of Brand X paint in white in exterior high-gloss. So I go and get it and drop it in the shaker for a minute. Now, just a lil tidbit of information for you - High-gloss paint is interior/exterior-calibrated (meaning you can use it as an indoor or outdoor paint.)
When its done in the shaker, I take the time to walk the can to the customer. He gets halfway to the registers, turns back, and this is what happens:

Male Customer #2: Are you sure this is exterior?
Me: Yes sir. High-gloss is an interior and exterior paint.
Male Customer #2: Are you sure?

The customer then looks to Danny (another paint associate) who is standing about ten feet from me.

Danny: Yes sir, it IS an interior and exterior paint.
Male Customer #2: Okay thanks.

At that point I'm disgusted. I walk into the phone room and the freight manager is in there. He’s very nice and has a killer sense of humor. I tell him about Male Customer #2, and he just shakes his head smirking.

Maybe someday, the sexist pigs of the world will wake up and realize that I didn’t trade my brains for tits. On that note, this is Selestine, signing off.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

FemFeature: Feminist Porn Awards

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Saturday, March 13, 2010

FemPost News: From your Scarlet lady...


Scarlet Magazine, Britain's answer to Cosmo and Playgirl, has run a full-page layout on my Phaze book Under Cover of the Night in its Juicy Bits section!!! To read more, please visit http://www.scarletmagazine.co.uk/index.aspx; you can buy a digital issue on the site or order a print. Woohoo!!!

Best,

Megan Hussey

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Now showing in the FemPower theater

Jana Cleveland's Porn for Women 2. Enjoy, Ladies!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZlfK8EemtQ

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Fempinions: FemPower at its finest!

So I'm sitting on the couch of my next door neighbor, a lovely 69-year-old woman named Gail (good thing she's not online, or she would have my head and several other nonexpendable parts for revealing her age:), enjoying Oscar night at our neighborhood awards gala. Then,wouldn't you know it, history strikes; Kathryn Bigelow becomes the first woman to win the Best Director honor at the Academy Awards.

Suddenly the evening takes on whole new meaning; Gail and I stared into one another's tear-filled eyes and performed a spirited high five. Then we clasped hands and I said, "Let's hear it for the gals." Gail responded, "Yeah, this is for all the guys who said we'd never do anything. We've always had the babies, so we can do somethin'."

Yep, Gail, we sure can; here's to, not only the magnificent Ms. Bigelow, but to all the pioneering women who came before her. These range from silent screen pioneers Dorothy Arzner (the first female member of the Director's Guild, who also wrote and edited features during the silent era)and Alice Guy-Blache, the Frenchwoman responsible for directing one of the first fiction-based features, to more recent luminaries like Sofia Coppola and Barbra Streisand, who presented Bigelow with her award this evening.

As someone who just started her own woman-run media adventure, one that has come to be known as FemPower, I don't dare to aspire to the heights that Ms. Bigelow achieved (though I won't speak for Jana, who I'm pretty sure will run the world one day:). Yet women like her inspire us all to aim a little higher, get a little stronger, and aim for better than we have.

With that in mind, I'm pleased to make a couple of announcements: the first of which is that the first FemPower FemProfile, our interview feature that will spotlight important women in the adult industry, will focus on a major female adult film director. The other is that I'm about to begin researching and writing a book that deals with female pioneers in the film industry.

Congratulations to Kathryn Bigelow, and cheers and high fives for all the ladies and the men who back us up; we really can do somethin'!:)

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Fempower: Anything She Wants

"I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure."

Mae West

"What do dreams know of boundaries?"

Amelia Earhart


Coming to you from the dirty minds of Jana Cleveland and Megan Hussey: a new concept in women's erotica...
In the classic '80s erotic film "Thief of Hearts," a handsome man seduces a married woman into an illicit affair by promising her "anything she wants, any way she's ever wanted it." These enticing words--well, plus the fact that he's REALLY hot--prompt her to succumb to her inhibitions and surrender to her deepest desires.
This same concept drives Fempower, a multimedia erotica project that seeks to discover and realize women's deepest, most secret fantasies, through books, films and commentary.
Fempower is a woman-run endeavor spearheaded by two driving forces in the women's adult industry.
Megan Hussey is an award-winning feminist erotica author and leader of the Playgirl Posse, a group that supports Playgirl, PlaygirlTV, and the concept of quality erotic entertainment for women. With six paperbacks, 12 digest stories and 10 e-books in print, she writes for companies such as Blade, Class Act Books, Midnight Showcase Fiction, Noble Romance and Phaze publishing. She has written DVD and website copy for women's adult companies like Playgirl and Chick Media as well as columns for Playgirl Magazine, and is the author of an ongoing erotic fiction series for Tregix adult toy company.
Jana Cleveland is an erotic writer and filmmaker whose work can be seen everywhere from YouTube (where her beefcake short films garner hundreds of hits) to websites such as her own Erotic Stories by Jana blog. Her erotic stories also have appeared in Bareback Magazine, and she serves as moderator of a number of erotic forums that celebrate erotica and women's sexuality, such as the Erotic Storytellers Society and Steamy Male Celebrities. And she's a proud ambassador of the Playgirl Posse.
Together Megan and Jana will bring you stories, films and commentary that celebrate women's sexuality. Their first collaboration will be "Hot in the City," a cutting edge erotic novella set to be released this fall through Midnight Showcase Fiction, that blends sex, humor, international intrigue, strong female characters, and more sex.
Our Fempower blog, meanwhile, will feature interviews and essays that cover topics ranging from women's erotica to leading females behind the camera in the adult industry, male dancers and companions to sex-positive feminism.
Come play with us at Fempower. Feel the power....